Saturday, July 25, 2009
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'
'Mrs. Sanders, please .'
'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes' Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'
'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.
'Normally we can, but Obamacare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'
'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'
'The folks at Obamacare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'
A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly has to fart.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam.. if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price."
Remind me not to piss off this woman!
OMG ~ An American automaker posts a profit during this depression! WITHOUT HELP FROM TAXPAYERS!
ACORN Involved in Organized Crime… why does the Canada Free Press have to report this?
Our hypocrisy knows no bounds… Alabama’s Liquor Control Agency... anywhere else it would be considered “art”
India’s Indians don’t miss much!
Tweeters only: What state do you belong in?
Friday, July 24, 2009
Waiting for the big one… Earthquake insurance offered in Cleburne
Denny's is sued over high-salt food… Well then don’t eat it dumba$$!
Watch the unemployment numbers for July, August and September
Does anyone actually know the history of the Republican Party?
The so-called "conservative party" is changing... or maybe I should say the GOP is "coming out of the closet"! Political popularity seems to override GOP conservative party values if it gets them elected! People now seem to vote for the best/worst of two evils. Really, how many times have you heard someone had to vote for a particular politician because they could not allow his opponent to get the office?
"Republicans chose a candidate with softer edges: a female lawmaker who embraces gay marriage, fully supports abortion rights and has a close relationship with leading labor officials in her region."True conservatives (fiscal & moral) will need to find another political party to support if they want to give America back to the moral majority; which include conservative values. Whether you agree or disagree is irrelevant, conservatives don't go both ways; at least not in public.
...but I could be wrong,
A room, space, corner or area of a dwelling that is specifically reserved for a male person to be in a solitary condition, away from the rest of the household in order to work, play, involve himself in certain hobbies, activities without interuption. This area is usually decorated by the male that uses it without interferance from any female influence.
Tom retreated to the Man Cave to play his online rpg game.
Some guys have all the luck!
This is an interesting site… the whitehouse is polling everything. How many times can I vote?
Local man trades college for Americorps ~ Need an excuse to be an underachiever? Join Americorps!
TARP funded Banks follow the 0bama message to redistribute wealth...from the taxpayer's pocket to banking execs themselves... BILLIONS with a B... I wonder if we get a kiss to go with it?
Associated Press say 0bama lied last night about his healthcare plan on national TV
0bama scolds Cambridge police ~ What bullshit… play the race card BO… The guy was out of line! He has entitlement issues! But, since he's an educated ****** black man, and our President is also, he has special black rights that transcend authority. I believe if it was a white professor, this would not be an issue.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
'0bama did what he does best again this evening, read a speech off of telepropmters and talked his way out of answers to an adoring press pool on health care. ... When the people in DC create rules that effect everybody EXCEPT for them then it can’t be good. If it were they would want it too.'
EVEN WORSE: Democrats are preventing Republican House Members from sending their constituents a mailing that is critical of the majority’s health care reform plan, blocking the mailing by alleging that it is inaccurate.
How can they claim it’s inaccurate when nobody’s read the bill? Hell, do you know any program this administration has already implemented that has been accurately depicted?
THIS IS A JOKE!!!
While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found the solution. I am sure you have heard the ideas that if you're a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care. A new hip? Unheard of. We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. Let’s take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon.
So here is the solution. When you turn 70, you get a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course, you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need!!! New teeth, great!!! Need glasses, no problem. New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart? Well bring it on. And who will be paying for all of this. The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax.
I really think we have a Perfect Solution!!!
Last night, President Obama addressed the nation in a primetime press conference about health insurance reform.
The President made crystal clear what's at stake in this debate: the fiscal well-being of our nation and the health of our families and small businesses.
In case you missed it, take a look at what he had to say: Full Video
Truth be told — with each passing day, more and more Americans are unable to get the health care they need, when they need it. Skyrocketing co-pays and deductibles and soaring insurance premiums are crushing our family budgets and small businesses. Unless we act now, these problems are guaranteed to get worse and worse.
Under reform, American families will get the stability and security they deserve. They'll no longer have to fear losing health care coverage if they lose or switch jobs, going bankrupt if they become seriously ill, or being denied coverage because of a pre-existing medical condition. Reform will ensure all Americans have access to quality, affordable insurance.
We all have a stake in this and for the 14,000 Americans who are losing their health insurance each day — reform can't wait.
Make sure everyone you know understands the importance and urgency of health insurance reform: Watch the President's remarks and forward this email to your friends and family.
P.S. Health insurance reform is a complex issue and many of you have questions about what it means for you and your family. To help get you the answers you need, White House Health Reform Director, Nancy-Ann DeParle, is holding a live video chat through Facebook and WhiteHouse.gov. Join the chat today at 3pm ET.
Coverage by contract whereby the party which has undertaken to guarantee protection or coverage against loss by a specified peril reniges said coverage when protection or action becomes necessary.
I had to take little Throckmorton to a specialist for his asthma, but the visit was not covered by our health unsurance policy.
This is an interesting site… the whitehouse is polling everything. How many times can I vote?
WASHINGTON -- In a rare win for gun control advocates, the Senate on Wednesday rejected a measure allowing a person with a concealed weapon permit in one state to also hide his firearm when visiting another state.
Go ahead and take this right-wing religican Texan to jail, cause I don’t leave home without it!More town hall meetings are getting out of control… makes me smile!
CNN John Roberts is schooled by Rhodes scholar Bobby Jindal on government healthcare.
Will 0bamacare fund abortion? That question is above our President’s pay grade.
Another video on liberalism/socialism in the US government.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, aye?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks.
"Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas".
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."
The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
As you read this, we are closer than ever to passing comprehensive health insurance reform that benefits American families and small businesses. Despite all the back and forth in the news right now, it is important to understand just how far we've come in this challenging process.
That's why I'm holding a press conference tonight at 8pm ET, and writing to let everyone know where we are, what's ahead, and why health insurance reform is so important.
Let me be clear: although Congress is still debating parts of the legislation we have achieved critical consensus on several key areas:
Now, I realize that the last few miles of any race are the hardest to run, but we can't stop now. There's no dispute about it: we cannot control our long-term fiscal health as a nation without health insurance reform. American families and small businesses understand that the health insurance status quo is taking away those things that they value most about health care. The stability and security that comes with knowing that you can get the treatment you need, when you need it. Without reform, we are consigning our children to a future of skyrocketing premiums and crushing deficits.
If you already have health insurance: reform will provide you with more security and stability. It will limit your own out of pocket costs and prevent your insurance company from dropping your coverage if you get too sick. You'll also have affordable insurance options if you lose or change your job. And it will cover preventive care like check-ups and mammograms that save lives and money.
If you don't have health insurance: you will finally have guaranteed access to quality, affordable health care, and you can choose the plan that best suits your family's needs. And no insurance company will be allowed to deny you coverage because of a pre-existing medical condition.
We have to seize this opportunity and pass health insurance reform this year. You can help by forwarding this email to your family and friends and letting them know what's at stake in this debate.
P.S. Tune in to tonight's press conference on health insurance reform at 8pm ET on WhiteHouse.gov.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, right, is greeted by House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank, D-Mass., as he arrives to deliver a report on the country's economic and financial health before the House Financial Services Committee, on Capitol Hill in Washington, Tuesday, July 21, 2009. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite) (J. Scott Applewhite - AP)
The brave and heroic Denton Police arrest this 17 year old for riding his bicycle on the wrong side of the road and no white light. Judge agrees with severity of the crime and sets his bond at $1000.
Next time young man, just steel a car... you're more likely to get away with it!
Bond: $1,000 | BICYCLE/NO WHITE LIGHT ON BICYCLE | BICYCLE/RIDING ON WRONG SIDE OF ROADWAY
PARIS, TEXAS: (AP) ~ Riot Police Needed During Racially Charged Protests
Voters laugh in the face of politician on his explanation of 0bamacare!
Suspect singing in Murtha earmark probe. I hope someone sings like a jailbird!
President Admits He’s ”Not Familiar” With House Healthcare Bill. For a trillion bucks, you would think someone would get familiar with it…
End of life care: take a painkiller!
A really cool debt clock!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
by Joanne E. Juren
I am an American Patriot.
Today, when I awoke, I cried as I listened to the news about President Obama and his “healthcare” bill and I realized that as a person in my 50’s, I am the one he is targeting with this bill. I am the one who is going to be denied the knee replacement I will need in a few years. I am the one who as a cancer survivor will be deemed “not well enough to save.” I am the one who will be allowed to die by denying health care to me. Friends, it is time YOU stand up for America. You too must become an American patriot.
On July 4, 1776, our Creator divinely inspired 56 brave me to join in a unanimous DECLARATION of INDEPENDENCE from the tyranny and destructive government of a King.
These men risked their reputations, their freedom, why even their very lives because they believed “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are LIFE, LIBERTY and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.” They also believed that “whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government.”
I am concerned that our United States Government has become destructive to our rights for – LIFE, LIBERTY, and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS because today, we have a new tyrannt...BARRACK HUSSAIN OBAMA.
Founded on the ideas of Individual Freedom, States Rights, and a small National Government, the United States has been a leader of the free world for most of its 233 years. Today, our country’s core values have been shaken to their very roots. Our founding fathers must literally be turning over in their graves! Never before in my life have I been as worried and scared about the continuation of my country AS A GOD LOVING, FREEDOM LOVING country, as I am today.
Capitalism, the benchmark of America’s success, is now in grave danger of being replaced by Socialism. It is truly frightening to watch as our President has nationalized banks, taken over General Motors and Chrysler, closed car dealerships nationwide, and pushed through the CAP and TRADE bill. His goal, as he said to JOE THE PLUMBER during the campaign, is to REDISTRIBUTE WEALTH. That is your wealth and mine.
It is truly frightening when you look at statistics that show that 1-in-5 Americans believe socialism is better for our country than capitalism. It is even more frightening when you discover that over 30% of our young people believe that socialism is the answer to America’s problems; and another 30% of our young are undecided. America, we have a PROBLEM!
We’ve bailed out the auto industry; we’ve bailed out the banks. Now states such as California, Arizona, New York, and others are going bankrupt. Our President plans to bail them out too. What about the other 47 states. Where will the money come from? It will come from YOU, THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER. And this president claimed he was NOT going to raise taxes on anyone who makes over $250,000. Well think again, he’s coming after YOU!
Whatever happened to our unalienable rights of LIFE, LIBERTY, and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?
We have the greatest medical system in the world. Our President and Congress have promised us that they are going to “fix” our broken system. My God, can't you image the United States Medical System becoming another broken down bureaucracy? As a cancer survivor, I DO NOT WANT my medical care provided by or dictated by the government. On pages 425-450 in the health care bill before congress is wording that indicates elderly people are going to be counseled every five years about dying with dignity. This bill is going to greatly affect the baby boomer generation…as they are just going to let us die. No more knee replacement surgery, angioplasty, etc. to extend our lives since “seniors” already receive a disproportionate share of health care money.
You bet, I'm WORRIED about my rights to LIFE, LIBERTY and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. Now I'm worried that President Obama is going to let me die by denying me health care.
I'm concerned that my president has forsaken the constitution by appointing officers known as czars, accountable to no one except our president and who are dependent upon him solely for their position and sustenance, with powers that usurp the authority of the elected. His administration has even declared the liberty-loving people who legally and peacefully protest these iniquities to be a threat to the very Constitution we love and honor. FRIENDS, are we going to take this?????
In January, 2009, Rep. Jose Serrano, D-N. Y., introduced H. J. Res. 5, a bill that would repeal the Constitution’s 22nd Amendment prohibiting a president from being elected to more than two terms in office. This resolution is for real. It has been proposed and has been filed with the Library of Congress. It has seven years to be ratified by the states to take effect. If it were to pass, it would open the gates for a president to serve indefinitely as long as he is re-elected. Why does this concern me? With groups such as ACORN who are known for corruption being given stimulus money and with the 2010 census being controlled by President Obama, I am alarmed that not only are we moving towards socialism, we may be moving towards dictatorship. The AUDACITY of this should alarm and move all of us to action!
I for one have always taken my country for granted. I have enjoyed its prosperity, its abundance of food, the freedom to practice my own religion, the freedom to choose the type of education my children received, the right to work hard and succeed or fail, the right to own a gun, the right to a high standard of healthcare, and the right to speak out when I agree or disagree with my government.
Our United States Government has become destructive to these ends – LIFE, LIBERTY, and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. We have strayed too far from our Constitution. In fact, we have strayed so far that we, as American Patriots, must stand up tonight and BAILOUT THE CONSTITUTION!
If you ever feel like your lone voice can never be heard, that the political system isn't set up for "regular" Americans to change the course of history, remember: The signers were flesh and blood, mortal men with a divinely-inspired aim.
"Five were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died. Twelve had their homes burned to the ground. Two lost sons serving in the Revolutionary Army, and two more had sons captured.
Nine fought and died in the Revolutionary War. Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists, eleven were merchants, and nine were farmers and large plantation owners. They were well educated, smart enough to know that by signing the Declaration of Independence, they were signing their own death warrants. They did it anyway, and God bless them for it. " (Glen Beck's web page)
George Bernard Shaw once said, “Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.”
Never again will I take this great country for granted.
Never again will I fail to stand up and be heard.
Never again will I stand by and allow those who would destroy my country from within or without prevail!
My name is Joanne Juren and I am an American Patriot.
Joanne E. Juren, B. A., M.Ed.
HEP Bookstore, L.L.C.
Home Education Partnership of Texas, Inc.
Eta Sigma Alpha National Home School Honor Society
11665 Fuqua, STE. A-100
Houston, TX 77034
0bama voter Ann Althouse writes ”How 0bama Lost Me”
Monkey rips off store in Richardson!
New York Times goes after the infamous porky Rep. John Murtha.
Dallas couple jailed for starving their children… throw away the key!
What in the sam hill is Texas Governor Rick Perry doing in Iraq for a third time? Campaigning? Grandstanding? Street Cred?
GM may be better known as Gangster Motors
The perfect candidate for management in AC0RN/Americ0rps…
The Inspector General for TARP said, "The total potential federal government support could reach up to $23.7 trillion" At this rate of misuse, I can see why! By the way, the US Treasury seems to be purposely allowing it, what better way to launder money? China and Europe will sure appreciate more bailout money!
Monday, July 20, 2009
MSM NEWSFLASH! House Committee Votes to Cut Obama's National-Service Budget
…from $1.15-billion to $1.06 billion is a tremendous sacrifice for employing ACORN, Americorps, youth clubs and other government citizen’s group. Americorp’s goal is 250,000
paid volunteers. If the whitehouse poll doesn't support spending $1 BILLION on this project, will they publish the results? It's hard enough to read a bill before it's passed, this should be a cakewalk...
UPDATE: The perfect candidate for management in AC0RN/Americ0rps…
Today's tweet from the whitehouse
Obama “This isn’t about me. This isn’t about politics. This is about a health care system that is breaking America’s families”
Mr. President, you're doing a pretty damn good job of breaking families yourself, at least we get something in return from the hospital and the doctor...we know what we'll get from the government.
a smile for your day....
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER 8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
COWS, CALVES ~ NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents/lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
And the best one?:
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything...
Rep. Keith Ellison of Minnesota is pushing for the safe return of Somali terrorists to Minnesota.
Stimulus funds at work… $1.1 million for 2 pound frozen sliced ham! That’s some pretty expensive pork!!!
0bama unable to fire a government employee? Because he broke his own law by doing it or because the employee was doing his job? Proving his vast presidential powers!
Team 0bama not only intends to bankrupt American and send all manufacturing overseas via the Cap-&-Tax legislation...
They also want America to pay for China's emissions. More money for China, they so desperately need it!
Alamo caretakers lack business sense and are standing in the way of innovations because they don’t charge admission or take tax dollars… some groups just don’t want that kind of change!
Ron Paul calls me a ”Country Club type of Republican” because I support Sarah Palin? It’s odd I’m not a member of a country club and he is…
Sunday, July 19, 2009
When in a theater with shared armrests, the act of carefully adjusting one's posture so that your arm touches the arm of the person next to you, but not so much that they move their arm away.
Jenna was pretty sure Mark still believed in cooties, so she got all giddy during their Ice Age 3 date when she "won" a game of elbow tag.
Land of the Lost was so painful, I had to amuse myself by playing elbow tag with the stranger on my left.
For the first time in my life, I bought a foreign-made car. I have always been loyal to buy American vehicles; but I choose not to be remorseful over my purchase. I didn't pick it out and doubt I will ever drive it, but someone's happy and loves it.
I call it the 0bamazda. I would have remained loyal to the American worker if it weren't for their corrupt Union and the current administration. Our president's path of tax and spend will create more unemployment and Unions are supporting him as they lay off their workers. Nothing like a few key government contracts to make the group some very serious coin.
I remember when Unions were considered organized crime... now they're vested in the US government.
As of now, I am still allowed to choose where I spend the money I earn. I figure if I'm gonna have less cash after government interference and unionization in health care, energy, insurance, banking and the auto industry, I can do my small part not to support them. Oh, I forgot... it is our tax dollars they are spending; I already help support them. Dang!