Saturday, October 17, 2009

Liberal vs Conservative

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor; then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

h/t Betty Rubble


Anonymous said...

Yeah.....pretty much.

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!!!! Denney Crane, AMEN!!!!!


Seeker said...

I was keyed in to this blog by a friend with a perverse sense of humor. She is also quite literate, with a refreshingly agile intellect.
That's why it didn't surprise me that she would send the directions to this blog along with a quote from John Stuart Mill: "Conservatives aren't necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives."
You might want to investigate the actual definition of the words liberal and conservative. When you spout agitprop, it helps to actually know what you are talking about rather than simply following the dogma prescribed for you.

Denney Crane said...

I'm truly thankful God loves intellectual dumbasses as well as stupid conservative people such as myself.

I'm also thankful we all can have our own opinions, even if they're not politically popular or correct.

Seeker, thank you for your comment. Feel free to disagree with me any time. May God bless you and reveal himself to you.

Your brother and neighbor,

Denney Crane


mzchief said...

What is a "foreign religion?"

Denney Crane said...

"Foreign religion" is what we get after we have sex with a hawt foreigner!