Saturday, March 20, 2010
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Opposite of multitasker, a singletasker is one who only takes upon one task at a time, and follows it through to completion. Often used sardonically when someone is bragging about their supreme multitasking skills.
Bobby: "Today I'm only going to focus on finishing my TPS reports and not to answer the phone, email, text, IM, staple, and make breakfast simultaneously."
Jeffy: "You are such the singletasker!"
Bobby: "I can't even respond to you at this time, because then I'd be multitasking."
7 things you should never say to your boss!"That's not my job."
"It's not my fault."
"It's not my problem."
"I can only do one thing at a time."
"I am way overqualified for this job."
"This job is easy! Anyone could do it!"
"It can't be done."
These have to be some of the funniest phone pranks in recorded history…
Is it true? There is an animal on God’s green earth that can live forever …
Many colleges in America are having problems, but none more than Cornell University. It’s now known as “suicide school” after 6 deaths in 6 months. Not cool!
It truly blesses my heart to see a state like Idaho pass a law that pretty much tells Washington they can stick 0bamacare up their ass.
I am even more encouraged to see several other states open up a can of whoopass on Washington Hitlerites…
A Constitutional lawyer has read the entire proposed healthcare bill. What he found was far worse than what he expected. If he’s right, we’re truly f##ked!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
buy chin strap mugs, tshirts and magnetsA patch of hair grown on the chin that looks like a chin strap for a football helmet. Similar to a goatee.
Jimmy was so proud because after months of practice, he was finally able to grow and perfect his chinstrap beard.
WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. (at Walmart): A male voice came over the public-address system Sunday evening at a store in Washington Township, in southern New Jersey, and calmly announced: "Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now."
The fan will be clogged and Walmart will pay... Let's see which black leader starts throwing stones for a check.
Never take a hammer to a gun fight! The Wise County Messenger reported: 100 block of Illinois Street – A complainant advised that a man pulled a hammer on him near a liquor store. The complainant then pulled out a gun and suspect fled the scene.
If you don’t know what you’re looking for in a soulmate, here’s a checklist.
Worst career move of the month: it’s normally a good idea to make sure you know who you rob…
In many areas of the world, Muslims actually carry out their faith by taking action…
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
America is overheating the phone lines at the House of Reps in Washington this week. I wonder why they wanted to talk to their Congressman?
They just think it's bad now, watch what happens if they pass the healthcare bill. People will be showing up in person to express their true feelings! They will need their health coverage then...
If you think girls can’t be cruel and violent, let me know if this changes your mind. Maybe we should turn them against corrupt congressmen...
Science has found a way for us to communicate with others from the grave.
If you’ve never seen a sailfish up close and personal, it is one of the most gracefully fast predators in the ocean. I hooked a double (6’ & 7’) a few years back, pulled them in the boat, tagged and released them. What an unforgettable memory…
Get a load of this! A union representing Dutch nurses will launch a national campaign Friday against demands for sexual services by patients who claim it should be part of their standard care.
If sex is required for hospital patients, there will be a waiting line from hell to get in...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
We now have proof positive that liberals have a sense of humor. Who would have thought it?
If a major company announced they would compete heads-up against the U.S. Postal Service, I would buy as much stock in the company as I could. Let's face it, the post office has officially gone down the shitter!!
Ask Men lists the top 10 douche bag driving stunts of all time…
I disagree with their #1 choice, which I believe is driving slow in the left lane and slowing traffic!
Duuude! You may have a drinking problem if you…
So what do you think of when you hear the phrase, “scent of a beautiful woman”? I don’t think it means anything like this! Warning! Graphic & borderline perverted!
And then there’s the great feeling of satisfaction when you watch a bully get pwned…
This is literally, the dirtiest prank I have ever seen!
Monday, March 15, 2010
If you are bored and need a lift, here are examples of glamour shots gone wrong.
When we think about the lifestyles of the rich and famous, we don’t look very closely at Warren Buffet. The world’s third richest man still lives in his $31,000 home.
Do you think you can live in America without debt? These people learned to…
For more than two decades, Social Security collected more money in payroll taxes than it paid out in benefits — billions more each year. Not this year though, they have to tap into their savings account, which our government has already spent.
DENTON ~ A 31-year-old old registered sex offender was arrested Thursday by Denton police on charges of harassment and making terroristic threats. The dilemma began a couple weeks ago after a woman responded to a Craigslist ad seeking a female singer for a Christian band was contacted to set up an audition.
I sure miss the good old days when all we had to do to deal with perverts is get a rope...
Only a blind, deaf Texan would not have heard about all the crap going on with the Texas State Board of Education and how they’re changing student text books. One minority board member walked out on a debate because they wouldn’t recognize minority Medal of Honor winners.Two words, “Good riddance!”.
I know I'm getting better when I can hold my disgust to 2 words.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question
the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world,
seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud,
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.