Saturday, October 24, 2009
That friend that always sends you a meaningless text after the obvious end of a text conversation, just to get the last text. They do this while totally oblivious to their uncontrollable habit.
OMG, Jan is SUCH a last texter it drives me crazy. The other day, she sent me a text "K" back after I texted her "don't text me, in a meeting." So then I had to dig out my phone again to clear it so it wouldn't keep vibrating for the rest of the meeting!
First you had trouble getting out of bed
You had a stiff neck
You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it
Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out
You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise
Your new hat looked better on you at the store
You keep losing things
You got caught in the rain at lunchtime
Then the lunch you had
didn't seem to agree with you
You feel trapped
Uninvited guests showed up at dinnertime
On top of that you think
you're coming down with the flu
And finally, you're alone in the
house at night when you think
you hear a noise in the basement
Thought for the Day
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or play with it,
Just pee on it and walk away.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Fatigue which is used as an excuse when one does not want to perform undesirable tasks such as work.
My co-worker claimed her Chronic Fatigue Syndrome kept her from coming to work, but she had no problems making it to the nightclubs. What she really has is Selective Fatigue Syndrome.
How do people go through life with such unfortunate names like Judge Willie Stroker?
Treehuggers have finally gone and done it… they’ve pissed off PETA by wanting us to eat our pets to save the planet!
More Halloween costumes… sexy witches
I never knew that pumping up the PC muscle was the key to morgasms… okay guys, remember… it’s their responsibility!
Here’s something you probably shouldn’t do today…
Did you notice oil hitting $82 a barrel Wednesday night?
$2.3 million in federal stimulus money is going to pay for Tampa Bay area beauty school tuition
This is not a lesson in civility. Conservatives protest former Republican flip-flopping to the Democratic party.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
For those of you who enjoy vivid nightmares, here are some very creepy animal images created by some very imaginative taxidermists.
Buying beer is not always easy if you’re zombie drunk!
Have you ever seen a deer get blown away to save its life?
How to keep your man happy… 1. Treat him like a 6 year old. 2. Tell him what he likes to hear. Any questions?
So, would you like to see what Americans think about how our President is helping our economy recover?
A tired metaphor for the different tasks a single person in a particular occupation is responsible for performing, primarily employed by stupid, annoying, pretentious people. Avoid these people if you can.
Annoying guy: In my particular line of work, I find that I must put on many different hats. I make copies, staple papers, and eat potato chips.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Why should banks loan money to the public when they can make twice as much with half the risk by betting against the American dollar?
Congresswoman Carol Shea-Porter is beginning to flip-flop on her support of the Stimulus bill after she voted for it. I wonder if she would be backtracking if she wasn’t coming up for reelection?
Speaking to bankers at a Democratic fund raiser, President 0bama stated , “But we also know we should never again have to face potential calamity because of reckless speculation and deceptive practices and short sightedness and self-interestedness from a few.” He should be preaching to the U.S. Congress instead of bankers.
What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas!
Don’t ever tell me that cats can’t breakdance!
Graffiti no longer known as vandalism, it’s now considered street art
15 of the most brutal methods of execution of all time… not for the squeamish!
The most amazing medical images of 2009
ACORN paid $3 for every person it’s people registered, unless they were Republican
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said, 'Let me see if I've got this right.
You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.
You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.
You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.
You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.
You want me to do all this and then you tell me...
I CAN'T PRAY?'
‘If Obama doesn't weigh in forcefully and say "no" to the hush money arranged in January for Big Pharma, big insurance, and the AMA, America's middle class will get walloped. And so will he in 2012.’ Huffington post writer Robert Reich, former Secretary of Labor & Professor at Berkeley
Why would politicians get a different swine flu vaccination than the public?
The newest generation of spies… remote control bugs
Taking down Fox news… Alinsky’s RULE Number 12 : “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”
So why is it that I never get invited to Halloween parties where the costumes are awesome?
If you pride yourself on staying ahead of the curve when it comes to new urban music artists, you might want to pay attention to what Roslynn Cobarrubias, Senior Director of Urban Marketing at MySpace Music has to say.
And more really creative and crazy Halloween costumes.
If you ever wonder why some people will only swim in the hotel pool, here’s several justifiable reasons.
If you haven’t seen the latest video of killer Tsunami wave, it will make you want to strangle the camera man!
Monday, October 19, 2009
And you're not gonna believe this!!!
Edit #2: I have discontinued the link to Laura's blog per request. I have chosen not to be party to any more pain than what's already been inflicted. No one got to me. It's out there and can't be taken back. I am praying for Laura and her entire family and ask you do the same. I will tolerate no comments that include name calling.
There are 2 sides to every story. You have only heard one. Our justice system provides for innocence until proven guilty; but public opinion is not as forgiving.
I will always take a stand again child abuse of any nature. I will not enable offenders by remaining silent, nor will I allow fear to control my life or beliefs.
If we don't stand up against injustice in any form, we should expect the same treatment when it happens to us.
A peaceful mind has no room for feelings of hate, guilt, resentment, jealousy or anger.
Ok BE HONEST...how many of you REALLY ENJOY getting little angel love notes from every person in your address book?
You know the ones with "I love you so... here's an angel" ... and some mushy poem crap.....
And like the cute wasn't bad enough, they then THREATEN you with bad luck if you don't send it on to others!!
So here's my version:
1. Take the fairy dust
2. Add it to one of those angels
He's good luck because he
probably made you smile.
‘This week, Governor Schwarzenegger signed… law… [that] mandates individuals purchasing ammunition to be fingerprinted and registered at the time of sale and outlaws mail order ammunition purchases.’ This is where is starts boys and girls!
The $787 billion stimulus in Michigan “saved or created” 397 jobs! Cost only $620 million tax dollars, what a bargain! It also “created or saved” 20 jobs in Connecticut, 28 jobs in Vermont and 22 jobs in New Hampshire. But health care will be different!
Do you think Congress will read the health care reform bill or just pass it and fill it out later?
Conspiracy theory of the week: Mind contolling vaccines, do we have the technology yet? You might want to watch the whole video...
Will our President cede U.S. sovereignty in December? It looks like it…
A slang term used to explain the phenomenon during which a fiercly heterosexual male achieves an erection (or, "boner") for or while in the company of one of his male friends (or, "bros"). This may only occur while engaging in all-male activities, particularly those which include feats of strength or displays of hyper-masculinity. Upon achieving a broner, the man in question is often known to exclaim, "dude, suck that shit!" or "meet me in the shower."
The way you creamed that linebacker gave me a total broner.
I find some truth in the reasoning why you should never help a girl move.
Is it okay to hit a woman if she’s bigger than you? What if it was worth the trip to jail?
Another reason girls shouldn’t flash and drive.
Creating childrens’ nightmares in pictures takes a special type of sick person…
Here’s what we’ve been waiting for… Playboy’s
photos of Marge Simpson
Hollywood puke scenes... my favorite!