So unbelievably close to sheer insanity that one word cannot express the sentiment alone.
Yo, did you see the way Anando pounded shot after shot of straight everclear at that party? That shit was cray cray.
Did you hear how cray cray Bryan got last night? Remember that chick from the bar? He took her home and gave her the Tony Danza treatment, no lie.
Note: The power of this adjective phrase is often misunderstood and underestimated. Harm from misuse may occur. Use with caution and only under appropriate circumstances.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
I’m to the age now that when the Star Telegram does a review of a restaurant, I read it. When they share the top 10 meals of 2009, I pay attention.
But when they tell me the best meal in the Metroplex is curry goat, cooked by a Jamaican in Arlington, I get a map and head that direction, immediately!
It's been over 20 years since I've been to Jamaica, but the best food I ate there was cooked by a street vendor and he called it "jerk pork". I at it skin, hair and all... good times... what I can remember...
Get in my belly!
My tapeworm never knows what to expect!
Sorry cutie... I prefer you over chilled monkey brains!
Yea, I know... I'm sick!
What do you call it when the police can come into your home, arrest you, commit you to a mental facility, and confiscate your legally-obtained property on no more than a hunch that you might commit some crime in the near future?Reason infers it's a police state.
10,000 cleanup and rescue workers got a $657 million settlement yesterday for injuries received at the World Trade Center catastrophe.
It’s good to know that when a catastrophic accident happens, we can hold a government entity responsible and sue for damages.
As much as half the food aid sent to Somalia is diverted from needy people to a web of corrupt contractors, radical Islamist militants and local United Nations staff members…...that’s half of about $485 million in 2009!
Exports up 46% in February, along with job creation in China! Talk about change and hope.
And just so there’s no mistaking the corruption of this administration and Congress, the FBI has released documents showing that the 0bama regime shut down the criminal investigation of ACORN.
Breaking the law is no big deal if nobody will investigate or prosecute, just ask Charles Rangel...
Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
H. Jackson Brown Jr.
As Bob Parks so eloquently pointed out, "Pardon my glee when watching someone of prominence, riding on someone else’s coattail, assumes that others must knee in reverence, and displays undo arrogance."
Mrs. Conyers, wife of Congressman John Conyers, plead guilty to bribery charges and received 3 year prison time; although now she's crawfished on that and said, "I'm just not going to jail for something I didn't do."
Yeah, right! If Martha Stewart had to do time, so should she!
If I were a judge, I would consider allowing her to have the option of being committed to a mental institution. It looks like she might have some anger and control issues.
If I were her husband, I would be thanking God the minute she's locked up!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Will America have to appease the international community and change all of the red “EXIT” signs? How much is this gonna cost and how many jobs will it create in China?
Forbes’ has named someone new as the world’s wealthiest man… He’s from Mexico
I’m not sure about this, but here’s an article explaining why men act strangely after 40…
Did you know that stress changes who men find attractive…
If you know a guy who needs a little help attracting the opposite sex, do him a favor and share these 10 ways he can be charming…
And finally, you know spring break is in full steam when they catch toys behaving badly… You might want to watch yours a little closer as well!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
an acceptable level of intoxication for business situations.
#1 There was an open bar but my boss was there so I could only get business buzzed.
# 2 We were slammed with TPS reports so we decided to crack open a couple beers and get business buzzed.
Corey Haim dies this morning of an “accidental drug overdose”. How can any overdose be an accident?
America, get ready to see sales tax go up to as high as 12%!
A new device from Cisco can stream every movie ever made in less than four minutes. How do I get me one of these?
How does the government collect unpaid loans from those who defaulted? Withhold it from their Social Security check. I have no problem with this!
Who would have a problem with Walmart selling a black Barbie for less money than a white Barbie? One group is based in Harlem…
America has a new enemy, and her name is Jihad Jane!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The emptiness you feel in your stomach in the middle of the night, usually while watching commercials for pizza or Burger King.
Guy #1: Hey what did you do last night?
Guy #2: Ughh man, I was watching this movie on TV, and then a Burger King commercial came on for the Whopper JR. I realized I totally had the midnight munchies and I just had to get 50 of them things.
If you’re having trouble waking up this morning, be sure to check out one of the sexiest “Get Milk” commercials online.
If you like birthday freebies, look no farther than here… Yes, it can be all about you!
This is exactly the reason Copyright was invented. Someone stole my playbook!
If you’ve never actually been in a world famous hot spring, I highly recommend you try one. The word that comes to mind: choice
So if you are elected to Congress and vote the will of the people you represent, your party sets you up for a scandal to get rid of you… that’ll teach you not to vote for 0bamacare!
Monday, March 8, 2010
When someone is so concerned about toilet seat germs, they cover the seat with half a roll of toilet paper, leaving it to appear like it has been mummified.
"I was going to use that stall to drop a deuce, but somebody left it looking like a toilet mummy."
You may not want to know the different between what a guy says and what he actually means… don’t take it personally!
If that’s not enough to upset you, then you definitely don’t want to know some universal truths men share.
I found this interview with one of the top DJ’s in the country very interesting…
Sports Illustrated has recently named the NBA’s Dirtiest Players. Makes me want to watch them in action…
There’s several things I could say about Sandra Bullock, but fearful or shy is not one of them.
Berlin's Grand Hyatt hotel hosted the biggest poker tournament in German history. Saturday, six people split the $1.36 million, after they robbed the place!
14 years ago the U.S. government banned American companies from trading with Iran as part of an economic sanctions policy. What does the U.S. government do to those still trading with Iran and break the law? So far, they’ve awarded them $107 billion!
After countless lives and billions of dollars, the United States freed Iraq from a ruthless dictator. After the election this weekend, we will watch another one take power. Did you really expect them to abandon their religion and Sharia law?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I would like to pray with you.
Do you know Jesus, me too.
God told me to come talk to you.
I know a church where we could go and talk.
How about a hug, sister?
Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.
Christians don't shake hands, Christians gotta hug.
Oh you are cold, Eccleseasties 4:11.
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a Bible study?
I am here for you.
The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry," how about dinner?
You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
You want to come over and watch the 10 commandments tonight?
Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
Would you happen to know a Christian woman that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
Do you believe in Divine appointment?
Have you ever tried praying at a drive in movie before?
Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that's his name.
You know they say that you have never really dated, until you have dated a Christian.
One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise. Ah! ... the beauty of God's creation is beyond description. As I watched, I praised God for His beautiful work. As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me. He asked me, "Do you love me?" I answered, "Of course, God! You are my Lord and Saviour!"
Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?"
I was perplexed. I looked down upon my arms, legs and the rest of my body and wondered how many things I wouldn't be able to do and thought about the things that I take for granted. I answered, "It would be tough Lord, but I would still love You."
Then the Lord said, "If you were blind, would you still love my creation?"
How could I love something without being able to see it? Then I thought of all the blind people in the world and how many of them still loved God and His creation. So I answered, "It's hard to think of it, but I would still love you."
The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my word?"
How could I listen to anything being deaf? Then I understood. Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts. I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your word."
The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?"
How could I praise without a voice? Then it occurred to me, God wants us to sing from our very hearts and souls. It never matters what we sound like. And praising God is not always with a song, but when we are persecuted, we give God praise with our words of thanks. So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."
And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?"
With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly, "Yes Lord! I love You because You are the one and true God!"
I thought I had answered well, but God asked, "Then why do you sin?"
I answered, "Because I am only human. I am not perfect."
"Then why in times of peace do you stray the furthest? Why only in times of trouble do you pray the earnest?"
I had no answers ... only tears.
The Lord continued. "Why only sing at fellowships and retreats? Why seek Me only in times of worship? Why ask things so selfishly? Why ask things so unfaithfully?"
The tears continued to roll down my cheeks. "Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news? Why in times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on? Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"
"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away. I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away. I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge. I have spoken to you but your ears were closed. I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away. I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all. Do you truly love me?"
I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse. What could I say to this? When my heart had cried out and the tears had flowed, I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."
The Lord answered, "That is My Grace, My child."
I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do You love me so?"
The Lord answered, " Because you are My creation. You are my child. I will never abandon you. When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you. When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you. When you are down, I will encourage you. When you fall, I will raise you up. When you are tired, I will carry you. I will be with you until the end of days, and I will love you forever."
Never had I cried so hard before. How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done? I asked God, "How much do You love me?"
The Lord stretched out His arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands. I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Savior. And for the first time, I truly prayed.