Saturday, February 4, 2012

16 Painful Truthes
...but quite amusing

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

13. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

14. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

15. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

h/t Gaspasser

1 comment:

el chupacabra said...

I really dig number 7. It will be scheduled to post later under notable quotables!