Friday, I called to check on my life insurance policies and behold, I talked to someone I could understand...from Manilla, Phillipines...but that's not all...
Saturday, 5:30 PM I spoke with an Expedia assistant in the Phillipines to change my itenerary on Wednesday in San Antonio so we could be at a luncheon with Glen Beck. She was very helpful. Enjoyed speaking with someone I could understand. I wonder if she makes $7 an hour...
I have been looking for property in Australia...so as to not indebt my grandchildren with 75% tax. The big business community is showing me where the future of capitalism is evolving...the Phillipines. Life is much simpler and cheaper, like the old west. I just hope they don't have a ban on assault weapons.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Friday, I called to check on my life insurance policies and behold, I talked to someone I could understand...from Manilla, Phillipines...but that's not all...
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the
Buttons on the wall"
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP, and a red one labelled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."
MEN NEVER LISTEN
Friday, April 10, 2009
This is a story about a dog that was born on Christmas Eve in 2002.
He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy hind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which needed to be amputated. He was rejected by his mother.
His first owner also did not think that he could survive. Therefore, he was thinking of putting him to sleep. At this time, his present owner Jude Stringfellow came into his life and wanted to take care of him..
She was determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself.. She thought, all we need is a little faith.
Therefore she named him 'Faith.'
In the beginning, she put Faith on a surf board to let him feel the movements of the water. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and to reward him for standing up and jumping around. Even the other dogs at home helped to encourage him to walk. Amazingly, after only 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind legs and jumped to move forward. After further training in the snow, he can now walk like a human being.
Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he just attracts all the people around him. He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared in various newspapers and TV shows. There is even one book entitled 'With a little faith' being published about him..
He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.
His present owner Jude Stringfellow gave up her teaching job and took him around the world to preach, 'that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul.'
In life there are always undesirable things.
Perhaps a person who feels things are not going as well as they could, will feel better if they change their point of view and see things from another perspective.
Perhaps this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone. Perhaps everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows.
Life is the continual demonstration of the power of thinking positive and having faith.
Believe in yourself.
Never lose faith.
Texas, Webb County – Hires former Alabama Medical Examiner thought to be an unprecedented imbecile… Reason
A new congressional conservative wannabe? You damn right! Third Base Politics
Meghan McCain lands book deal in the “high six figures”… Have AIG, China and Saudi Arabia prepurchased 500,000 copies? Hot Air
(Or the uncertainty of the English language)
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute..'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
Thursday, April 9, 2009
It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was a major problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.
The solution was a metal plate with 16 round dimples, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls quickly rusted to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make the plates of brass - hence, Brass Monkeys.
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts more, and more rapidly than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that it was just a vulgar expression, didn't you?
Wrongly imprisoned for 15 years due to expert’s testimony… how much would you want in damages? Reason
Washington paying paper industry to pollute. As much as $8 billion this year…compliments of George W. Bush... Reason
Google Says Privacy Doesn’t Exist, Get Used To Everyone Knowing Everything About You .Information Week
How to attract homosexuals to your state! Reason
Here is a crazy buck that a hunter got over in WI. He sent these pictures to a bunch of people to see what he could get and the owner of Cabela's paid him $13,000 for the head and hide. A calico buck like the one below is rarer then an albino.
Pakistan’s new offer, give us the $7.5 billion and your technology and we will handle it ourselves; now get out! Obama’s plan for Pakistan destroyed by California Senator Dianne Feinstein… Hot Air
Meet the newly elected Chairman of the worst state Republican Party ever: Massachusetts. Another blessed RINO
The Congressional Black Caucus “beclowned themselves by fawning over” the Castro regime, which for 50 years has violated human rights and oppressed democracy. You would think black people would be the first to condemn Cuba’s policies, but I guess condemnation is reserved for American atrocities…
ORGANIZED LABOR REORGANIZING - ‘the presidents of the two federations and of the nation's 12 largest unions… announced the formation of the National Labor Coordinating Committee, an interim body that could pave the way for labor's reunification by forming a new federation with roughly 16 million members.’ They have a surprising newcomer: the National Education Association...just a couple of votes away from passing card check! Washington Post
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The most important day Christian's celebrate: Easter. Worry not Americans, you have nothing to fear just because Muslim groups have no problem crucifying Christians… beheading is much easier and politically accepted!
A fire alarm rang at 4 pm in a large office campus when almost all employees were present ( approx 5,000 people ).
As per past fire-drill practices, the entire office was quickly evacuated within 3 minutes, and all employees gathered outside the complex in designated areas waiting for further announcement.
Before long, the fire drill officer in-charge made the following broadcast over their loud-speakers system:
"My dear colleagues . . . with sincere regret, I have been asked to announce that for many of you, this will be your last evacuation drill with us. Due to the on-going recession and bad business climate, the company is laying off almost 50% of its staff.. So when this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building. And if your swipe-card does not work, then it means that you have been laid off, in which case you will not be allowed inside, and all your personal belongings will be couriered to you by tomorrow. The company is using this innovative, never-before approach as we do not want to choke our email system with lay-off notices and farewell messages going by the thousands, and we also wish to avoid any fighting inside the office and the consequent security issues for all staff. We hope you have had a rewarding career with us. Now please move back in... and good luck!"
Big bankers ask, “Can we give the TARP money back with interest?” White House reply, “No” - Does anyone wonder why? - Wall Street Journal
NEW IRS TARGET – Nonprofit hospital executive pay. It’s a matter of public trust. Do you think they will target ACORN or NACA? Wall Street Journal
Detroit has more registered voters than residents. Acorn is alive and well… Freep
US Chamber of Commerce scores conservative lawmakers as anti-pro-business for voting against TARP and Stimulus. Has the chamber become another entitlement proponent?... Wahington Examiner
Biden blamed Bush and Gingrich for the Virginia Tech shootings. Why is he suddenly silent after the mass murders in Binghamton and Pittsburgh? - American Spectator
Is there intelligent life at General Motors?... They have the stroke to get a clean slate! - Reason
Why would our government build a detention compound in the middle of the Arizona desert?... Razor wire included... - Coast to Coast
As the world screams human rights and civil rights, why do they still allow trade with China? Money always trumps slavery! - Canadian Sentinel
Is the US at a greater risk now, during the Obama administration?
The Quran is the most informative source of understanding Islamic religion.
European tolerance of their Muslim population continually proves to be unsuccessful. More and more people throughout Europe become victims of Islamic violence. Do you honestly believe it won't happen here in America?
obedient radical Muslims attack first?
After telling the world that America is arrogant and nothing special, our President advocates his ideology is above individual beliefs and convictions. Unfortunately, lying to infidels is not sinful in the Islamic religion. As a matter of fact, using any means necessary to advance Islam is encouraged; including murder, rape, torture, terrorizing and deception.
The hope that President Obama promotes mixes truth with reality. I want to be a believer but I listen to what is said. I title this speech as:
Islam religion, worldwide...
“Given the increasing diversity of Americans populations, the dangers of sectarianism are greater than ever. Whatever we once were, we are no longer a Christian nation; at least not just… or just should we stick to the Sermon on the Mount, a passage that is so radical, that it’s doubtful that our own defense department would survive its application.” (laughing and applause) …folks haven’t been reading their Bible. …democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal rather than religion specific values… Politics depends on our ability to persuade each other of common aims based on a common reality… I am hopeful that we can bridge the gap that exists and overcome the prejudices that all of us, to one degree or another, bring to this debate and I have faith that millions of believing Americans want that to happen…people are tired of seeing faith as a tool of attack.” You TubeExcerpt of President Obama’s speech to the Turkish Parliament, April 6, 2009.
“I know there have been difficulties these last few years. I know that the trust that binds the United States and Turkey has been strained, and I know that strain is shared in many places where the Muslim faith is practiced. So let me say this as clearly as I can: The United States is not, and will never be, at war with Islam. (Applause.) In fact, our partnership with the Muslim world is critical not just in rolling back the violent ideologies that people of all faiths reject, but also to strengthen opportunity for all its people.
I also want to be clear that America’s relationship with the Muslim community, the Muslim world, cannot, and will not, just be based upon opposition to terrorism. We seek broader engagement based on mutual interest and mutual respect. We will listen carefully, we will bridge misunderstandings, and we will seek common ground. We will be respectful, even when we do not agree. We will convey our deep appreciation for the Islamic faith, which has done so much over the centuries to shape the world — including in my own country. The United States has been enriched by Muslim Americans. Many other Americans have Muslims in their families or have lived in a Muslim-majority country — I know, because I am one of them. (Applause.)”
Have you ever heard a Christian describe the Sermon on the Mount as radical? I wonder why people question our President’s religious convictions? I understand where he’s coming from, but denouncing one’s personal convictions does not make him trustworthy. Although I agree about the dangers of sectarianism, I would feel safer with less diversity and immigration.
Mentors Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright could not be prouder!
but, as always, I could be wrong...
emphasis added by Denney Crane
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Have US entitlement laws and regulations
created the world economic crisis?
The problem with creating economic distress is that it upsets the people affected and they want to find out what happened, why and who’s responsible. Now that the media feels betrayed (and broke), they are doing some in-depth investigating of the collapse with outrage and coming up with some interesting information.
Referencing a report made by the Capital Research Center, World Net Daily reports that the community activist group, NACA, ‘led by a self-described “banking terrorist” applied bullying tactics to secure high-risk mortgages and to shake down lending institutions for billions of dollars – actions that likely contributed to the "mortgage meltdown" that triggered the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.’
In 1995, President Bill Clinton, using “The Community Reinvestment Act” , forced banks to prove they were making loans to low income neighborhoods. President Clinton also encouraged community activist groups like NACA to file complaints and lawsuits against the banks.
A few incredibly interesting facts:
President Jimmy Carter in 1977, signed into law the Community Reinvestment Act, which directly contradicts free enterprise and capitalism as well as promotes entitlements, all in the name of Civil Rights.
Community activist group, NACA’s first two lawsuits against mortgage lenders made them $500 million; less attorneys fees. They targeted Countrywide Bank in 2007; by 2008, Countrywide was insolvent.
The Capital Research Center or CRC ‘analyzes organizations that promote the growth of government and identifies viable private alternatives to government regulatory and entitlement programs’.
Our government blaming banks and businesses for the economic crisis is the greatest hypocrisy of our generation. Fewer people are buying this proposal, yet everyone agrees it began in the United States. Accusing the rich for the world’s problems has been popular for years; now our government is offering them protection for their crimes. The cost for government protection: complete control.
Our President has grasped the limitless importance of using community activist groups to influence people and business in order to achieve his goals. Why else would his Presidential campaign fund contribute $800,000 to ACORN? I don't think we've seen anything yet, but it's coming.
I have finally come to realize the importance of community activist organizations in relation to politics and government; they are private alternatives to government regulations and entitlement programs.
If US government entitlement laws and regulations have created the world economic crisis, what will happen to America now that they are investing trillions more in entitlements and expanding social programs worldwide?
but, as always, I could be wrong...
SPOKANE, Wash. - Two Washington state girls took their plea straight to President Obama after their dad was laid off from his job.
The two mailed a letter to the president at the White House after watching their father, Henry, struggle to find a new job. Now they're about to lose their home.
It's a simple letter - asking for help.
"My name is Lilian Deck and my sister and I live in Spokane," the girls' letter begins. "We would like to ask you a question - where is the help you promised in your campaign?"
The letter is signed by Lilian, 13, and her 10-year-old sister Daleen. KATU
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?' asked John.
'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,'said Tommy.
The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.'
'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy.
'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.
'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'
'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.'
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!'
With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
Government Withholds Information-- US Soldier Goes to Prison for 25 Years For Killing Al-Qaeda Gateway Pundit
Bailout costs almost double; government estimates can’t be trusted. Reuters
Erasing memories… we now have the technology. Military will love this... Reason
Obama: We’re not at war with Islam Hot Air
cutting $300 million in college funding
but defends scholarships for illegal aliens…
Monday, April 6, 2009
This amazing video creation is a 24 hour observation of all of the commercial aircraft flights in the world, condensed down to about 2 minutes. From space we look like a beehive of activity. With this 24 hour observation of aircraft travel just above the earth's surface we get to see the daylight pattern move as well. Everything in yellow is a single aircraft. Toggle to full screen!
President Obama has proven his ability as a
n activist group organizer. Scandal and skepticism plague his alliance with community groups like ACORN. Ministers will be the first to tell you how charities cannot maintain their tax status if they make political endorsements; Acorn doesn't seem to be held to the same standard.
Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff and co-author of “The Plan: Big Ideas for America” has mapped a new social contract of
mandatory government universal citizen service. Now that we know “The Plan”, how do they implement mandatory government service? A good start is the Give Act, $5.7 billion in funding (almost $23,000 per student) and a network already in place. Anyone interested?
The Boy Scouts of America has announced a partnership with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security on Ready Kids, a family-friendly program designed to increase the level of citizen preparedness nationwide by motivating and helping parents and teachers to educate children about the importance of being prepared for emergencies. BSA
The untouchable government entity, Homeland Security, will be responsible for its management. The same guys who wastefully manage FEMA.
Acorn promotes entitlements/redistribution and influences over a million votes; what do you think 250,000 Scouts can make happen? Is this the beginning of seperation of child from parent(s)?
political groups ... something
much more honest and fitting!
NO WAY! The Demonic National Committee lies about public support of Obama’s budget… shame on you! Hot Air
BIG BROTHER RUNNING BIG BUSINESS! The House of Reprehensibles pass new bill to
IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT THE MONEY! Obama’s National Economic
MoveOn.org Leader Creates Pro-Obama "We Support Notre Dame" Website... ...What FOX News did not tell you: Tom Mattzie, the founder of the "We Support Notre Dame," is a political activist and a key leader of George Soros funded MoveOn.org, the radical far left smear website. Gateway Pundit
US Deaths in Iraq Drop to Single Digits... for the first time since the war began... Gateway Pundit
Sunday, April 5, 2009
If you want to see what will become of our freedom, civil rights, law & justice, privacy, politics, and industry in the USA, just look at England, the oldest democracy in the world. You will see how lawmakers, under the Labour Party, have interpreted and amended the Magna Carta, which is the closest thing they have to a Constitution .
The Convention Modern Liberty has listed specific examples of how the British government has modernized liberties, freedoms and civil rights.
Toggle document to read full screen
I believe our government is using British lawmakers playbook to take away our freedoms. In order to dress, justify and sell it to the American public, politicians will continue repeating terms like: Crisis, change, interpret, reform, rebuild, reconstruct, reorganize, approve, authorize, guide, regulate, permit, standardize, modernize, compromise, monitor, supervise, conduct, improve, security, safety, structure, accountability, prepare, restrain, prevent, oppose... just to name a few. Please feel free to add to the list.
Any country having unethical, greedy, self-serving politicians in charge, the law will benefit their own agenda: more power, money and control with less oversight. Bottom line - the amending and reinterpretation of the Constitution of the United States.
...but I could be wrong,
EDIT: Other significant terms added after the post:
“We never intended to offend anyone,” …yea, sure you didn’t... Sign on San Diego
I wonder what would happen to the art gallery if it would have been a cartoon depiction of Mohammed and his followers. Do you think angry Muslims would be protesting in the streets and possibly rioting at his doorstep...maybe some death threats? h/t Bob Parks