KURTIS THE STOCK BOY AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL
In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 4. Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love.
Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking up the road. Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn't possible.
He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn't afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday. That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, "Well, let's take the kids with us."
She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet her children. She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought, then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome.
Kurtis asked Brenda, "I still don't understand why the kids can't come with us?" Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities - just like her first husband and father of her children had done. Kurtis was not ordinary - - - he had a different mindset.
That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with.
A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children. Since then they have added two more kids.
So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl? Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona. If you tune in on February 1, you can watch him quarterback the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl against the Pittsburg Steelers! Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was not an ordinary person? Some athletes are also great people.
It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. He has also been the NLF's Most Valuable Player twice and the Super Bowl's MVP.
On Sunday, 1 Feb I'll be rooting for Kurt and the Cards.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
KURTIS THE STOCK BOY AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL
Ole and Sven were fishing on the Michigan opener when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.
'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' he replied, and then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
'Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic Lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster??'
'Vell,' replied Ole, 'I got it from my Genie.'
'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.
'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.
'Could I see him?'
Ole opens his tackle box & sure enough, out pops the Genie.
Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'
'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.
So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks. The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.
Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks....flying directly overhead.
Over the roar of the million ducks Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'
Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"
Friday, January 23, 2009
According to a Marine Pilot:
In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.
This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and destination.
I just flew with a guy who overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It's too good not to pass along. The conversation went something like this...
Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft at ( XXX ), you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter.
Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Radar: (no response ... total silence)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
This didn't miss me far...
VIRGO (The One that Waits)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.
SCORPIO (The Addict)
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.
LIBRA (The Lame One)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you wanna mess with... You might end up crying ...
ARIES (The Liar)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud..
AQUARIUS (Does It In The Water)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.
N ice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good in the you know where ... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.
LEO (The Lion)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive.. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.
CANCER (The Cutie)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.
PISCES (The Partner for Life)
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but In a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. & Silly, fun and sweet.
CAPRICORN (The Passionate Lover)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.
TAURUS (The Tramp)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!
SAGITTARIUS (The Promiscuous One)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships.. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty.. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with, you might end up crying.
LATEST MILESTONE: We now have more people employed in government than manufacturing and construction. Fabius Maximus
Will bankrupt cities be part of the bailout? Springfield Business Journal
Where Hamas Gets Its Money This will wake you up! Make sure to skip the welcome page Forbes
Our Neighbor and Why We Have to Kill Him! Best piece of satire I’ve read in a long time. Pajamas Media
William “Bill” Ayers turned away from the Canadian Border. Oh my! Toronto Star
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
WashingtonWatch is running a contest on their blog for the best 150 word explanation of why an element of the proposed $850 billion stimulus bill is good or bad, with $100 as the prize.
To satisfy my prejudice, jealousy and enormous ego, The Boston Legal’s Ass blog will have the very same contest with almost the exact same rules specified in the WashingtonWatch.com blog.
$100 prize to your favorite charity for the most “economically stimulating” money and the worst money spent in the Stimulus Bill Yea, I know it not original, but Denney Crane will be the only judge; that means anyone could win! …I’m bored! It doesn’t matter if you’re liberal or conservative, common sense knows no boundaries.
I know you're intelligent, literate, well-informed and talented? SHOW ME! Considerate it homework...
Entries are to be sent to: email@example.com
Ther are only 2 requirements for the prize money:
1. I require 30 (thirty) entries total. This means if you’re a participant, I hope you help publicize the contest.
2. I must have you’re valid email address to insure the correct winner.
Denney, in his infinite wisdom, will announce the 2 winners when Washington Watch post’s its winners or wait until 30 entries are received. If 30 entries are not received, the best essay for each side will be posted on this blog. BTW, you can enter as many times as you wish.
I do have a suggestion to all participants. Take advantage of the comments on the WashingtonWatch.com’s blog. These people are giving away research! Not smart…but I’m gonna use it.
I will be writing my essay to WW.com so as to vent my displeasure over the situation while becoming more informed about how our disgraceful politicians will be spending almost another trillion dollars.
Obviously, this contest is not about my money, but our 800 bn. The reason this contest intrigues me is that it permits literate, politically cognizant individuals to use logic and reason (rarely seen in Washington) to analyze an instrument that may initiate the downfall of the U.S.
My monkey won't be a victim!
BTW: Clint is still badass!
A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's department is being interviewed.
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
Inaugural benediction: Pray that “white will embrace what is right” ...and Rick Warren is controversial?
New White House website slams Bush ...this is change? Politico
Obama's former Pastor still rules over his (new?) congregation! Washington Post
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says lobbyists are people too! Invite 10 heavy hitters to his inaugural brunch… “And Obama will be meeting with them too.” ABC News
In Other News
Credit-card processor announces a security breach that could be the biggest ever! Fox News
If this doesn’t light a fire underneath you, nothing will! Been Seen
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Someone please tell me how in the hell this guy did this!
Fishing Brazilian Style!
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others)that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... he said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...walked home... and left it there all night.
You gotta love George.
“We could say they spend money like drunken sailors, but that would be unfair – to drunken sailors. It would be unfair, because the sailors are spending their own money.” Ronald Reagan on Congress
For those of you who don't have the time to check out all the links on this blog, you might want to read this one since it is a great overview. “Senator Tom Coburn has published a guide giving a snapshot of the most wasteful programs enacted by the Federal government this year. The programs highlighted total a little over $1.3 billion (which is small potatoes in a year where the budget deficit is hovering around $1 trillion),” For highlights, go to
The Liberty Papers
Bailed-Out Firms Have Offshore Tax Havens! Such patriotism to evade paying taxes... Thank you to the Three Wise Men blog for the link! Washington Post
Earmarks worth $6.6 billion. What’s a few extra billion here and there. I did notice one item that looked out of place…a single private construction company, (Milcon), who got 1.32 billion in government contracts. I see only 2 owners of the company... I wonder what percentage of the 1.3b is kicked back? Taxpayers for Common Sense
Indicted kickback king Ted Stevens (R-AK) obtained $3.2 billion in earmarks from 2004-2008. Check out this *Excel Spreadsheet* if you want to get mad. For highlights go to Taxpayers for Common Sense
House Commerce Justice Science Spending Bill only $442.5 million. Check out this *Excel spreadsheet* for the who, what and where. For highlights go to Taxpayers for Common Sense
Almost $200 million in agriculture earmarks. You’re not gonna believe who gets this money. Here's another mind blowing *Excel Spreadsheet* For highlights go to Taxpayers for Common Sense
Powerful politicians and their pet projects. See who and for what! Good news: it’s only $46 million. Taxpayers for Common Sense
$35 million in undisclosed earmarks! They show us who, but not what they're for in this *Excel Spreadsheet* For highlights go to Taxpayers for Common Sense
Hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on paintings of government officials. What's wrong with a professional photograph? Washington Post
Beloved Community Church in Englewood, IL obtained a $305,500 earmark in last years spending bill. Separation of church and state at it's finest. Small potatos? Taxpayers for Common Sense
Say Goodbye to Government Oversight! The media probably won’t investigate their behavior either…especially if they're bailed out! Read why. Newsweek
The most expensive taxpayer party ever thrown: $150,000,000! …and I wasn’t even invited, were you? MSNBC Friends and family are already on their way to Washington. See for yourself.
Monday, January 19, 2009
This should boggle your mind!!
1 . At Wal-Mart, Americans spend $36,000,000 every hour of every day.
2 . This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer. (and most can't speak English)
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.
8. During this same period, 31 Supermarket chains sought bankruptcy (including Winn-Dixie).
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Supercenters'; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 years ago.
11. This year, 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 billion.)
12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart
13. Wal Mart could bail out Wall Street!
Three people hospitalized after taking sex booster. Side effects include diabetic coma, permanent brain injury or death Northern Territory News
FOR THE LADIES -- Try clothes on your own personalized model before you buy them! Remarkable! MSN Shopping
WARNING H. J. Res. 5: Repealing the twenty-second article of amendment, thereby removing the limitation on the number of terms an individual may serve as President. They want Obama forever! Govtrack.US
Texas cattle are dying due to drought…so is the wildlife. It's okay to allow the deer to starve, just don't shoot them for food! MSNBC
Obama prayer speaker comes from group feds say is linked to Hamas Politico
VERY CONTROVERSIAL -- Obama, Dems Want $4 Billion for COPS, Byrne Grant Programs! I like the way this guy thinks! Reason
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt.'
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.