Nice legs...what time do they open?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
My name is Denney...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
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Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday
Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie," only you do it yourself.
Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade: Who has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.
Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex...
A. "Honey, I'm home!"
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
A. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50
Hand Job $10.00
***********************
Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.
He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"
The man replies "Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
1 comment:
who says there is no intellectual conversations on the internet? I feel quite at home here.
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