What Causes Arthritis?

A drunk man who smelled like gin sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked," Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized' "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

And these predictions just in from a friend's Blackberry...

"Blacktips are saying gov. Gives bail out to the unions
Stocks plummet even further
In turmoil- the world will slow to a crawl- gm shuts down
Less then 3 months, ford holds in at less then a $1 stock.
unemployment hits all time High across the country
Democrats take in god we trust off the US currency because they feel it upsets the nation.
The bird I call Picnick is the one who told me this, he will turn 847 feb.20th he also said Oboma will set in power 4 yrs.
A Catholic man will follow as president with a huge backing of christian people and will get country back in order.
Looks like we plant gardens and fish for a while."
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Response

"D######, your black tip (Picnic) must be getting all his information from cha cha chewy, he's a rainbow weave tail mexican fighting chicken. His prediction matches yours! oh FYI Chewy was undefeated last year 55-0 with 48 kills and 7 by default"