Boston Legal's Ass

United States Air Force 'Gittin it done' since 1947!

2012-02-16T15:00:00.001-06:00

Air Force General: Mr. President, we have just invented an invisibility cloaking device for Air Force One.

President: No way!

General: That's right, sir. The plane will be invisible. Will you be going along on its maiden flight?

President: Wouldn't miss it for the world!

General: Have a good trip, sir.

Today's Most Appalling News

2012-02-16T08:50:00.001-06:00

Mobile Apps Take Data Without Permission

The address book in smartphones — where some of the user’s most personal data is carried — is free for app developers to take at will, often without the phone owner’s knowledge.

Companies that make many of the most popular smartphone apps for Apple and Android devices — Twitter, Foursquare and Instagram among them — routinely gather the information in personal address books on the phone and in some cases store it on their own computers. New York Times

I was painfully made aware of this invasion of my privacy many months ago, so I went in and deleted my address book that Facebook had taken without my knowledge.

After I read the above article, I went back to Facebook to check and make sure they didn't import them back in after I deleted them the first time. To my amazement, my Facebook phone app reimported them, probably after one of the many Facebook "updates" to my iphone.

Finding out whether Facebook has your address book is no simple task! They make it very difficult for the average user to locate this information. If you want to know if Facebook has your address book/contact information, feel free to click on this link to see if you're an unwilling participant.

Remember that every time you update your Facebook app on your iphone or Android you will probably have to go back and manually remove it. Sneaky sonsabitches!

DC

.

Finally, available in paperback!

2012-02-15T15:00:00.001-06:00

The book "Understanding Women" has finally arrived in book stores:

h/t AJ

Today's Most Appalling News

2012-02-15T11:05:00.004-06:00

Biden Lectures Chinese VP

Leave it to Vice President Biden to give a straight-talking toast to China's vice president, and likely future leader, Xi Jinping. “As Americans, we welcome competition,” Biden said during a State Department lunch. “But cooperation, as you and I have spoken about, can only be mutually beneficial if the game is fair. ” Daily Beast
I truly believe Joe Biden is the most stupid son of a bitch in Washington. How can America ask China to play fair when we set the example of being the most ruthlessly aggressive nation on earth? Unfortunately, he would never have to asked them to play fair unless we were in a position of weakness... DC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And while we're on the subject of fair competition on the world market...

Rejected U.S. Hip Implants Sold Abroad

Johnson & Johnson may have recalled faulty hip implants in the U.S., but they weren't about to let them go to waste. The company sold the implants overseas after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration rejected them in the United States. Daily Beast

And you wonder why other countries sell us damaged goods? Because we have been doing it to them for years and have set the example. If this isn't proof positive that profit comes before the quality of human life, then you need to buy one of these implants for your mother and save some money! DC

Does this make you proud to be an American?

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Our own death and destruction?

2012-02-15T06:00:00.001-06:00

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:
From bondage to spiritual faith;
From spiritual faith to great courage;
From courage to liberty;
From liberty to abundance;
From abundance to selfishness;
From selfishness to complacency;
From complacency to apathy;
From apathy to dependence;
From dependence back into bondage"

Alexander Tytler

Copied from a comment on the Diety's blog.

What I Like About Texas!

2012-02-14T15:00:00.003-06:00

Yea, I know it's old, I'm cleaning the temp file in my email and couldn't delete this one without posting...

h/t Gaspasser

Sound wisdom from those who refuse to be victims!

2012-02-14T09:42:00.000-06:00

Yea, I know it's old, but I still like it...
Shooting advice from various concealed carry instructors. If you own a gun, you will appreciate this. If not, you will probably never understand.

The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes, the response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second.

Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

You may not be able to save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.

Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it'll be empty.

If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language.

Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arms length.

Never say "I’ve got a gun." If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they should hear is the safety clicking off.

The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win! ~ ...cheat if necessary!

In a gun fight:
If you're not shooting, you should be loading.
If you're not loading, you should be moving,
If you're not moving, you're dead.

In a life and death situation, do something . . . It may be wrong, but do something!

Guns have only two enemies rust and politicians.

Its always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

h/t AJ

Email of the week!

2012-02-13T11:15:00.000-06:00

I didn't know our current President was the first to do so many things. I guess that's what leadership is all about. He is the:

· First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.
· First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.
· First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States
· First President to violate the War Powers Act. .
· First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .
· First President to defy a Federal Judge's court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.
· First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.
· First President to spend a trillion dollars on 'shovel-ready' jobs when there was no such thing as 'shovel-ready' jobs.
· First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.
· First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat. .
· First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions.
· First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.
· First President to terminate America ’s ability to put a man in space.
· First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.
· First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.
· First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke-out on the reasons for their rate increases.
· First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.
· First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).
· First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.
· First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.
· First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office. .
· First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office, 90 to date.
· First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.
· First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.
· First President to go on multiple global 'apology tours'.
· First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends; paid for by the taxpayer.
· First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.
· First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.
· First President to repeat the Holy Qur’an tells us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.
· First President to take a 17 day vacation.

h/t the Gaspasser

Wise County CommissionerConvicted of Theft by Public Opinion...fueled by Law Enforcement & the WC Messenger

2012-02-10T10:53:00.002-06:00

I have been asked to serve as a local sounding board on the alleged scandal involving a Wise County Commissioner. Since I seem to lack the good judgment to keep my nose out of other people’s business, I will accommodate your requests; but, as always, I will first share my position, which is subject to change at any time. Please remember, I reserve the right to be wrong!

Based on our problems with Wise County governmental spending, this whole ordeal is similar to hunting mites. Mites are so small they can be found on ticks asses.

Texas finest law enforcement, in its quest to protect and serve, have used their time and talent to hunt mites. No matter their motive or justification, in my opinion it does more damage than good. Just because they may be right does not mean it is in the best interests of our community.

If the people of Wise County really cared about negligence in the use of taxpayer funds, numerous local officials would not hold office.

What happened to the day when officers would just tell you to “put it back” and “don’t ever let it happen again”? If this were a fellow law enforcement officer and made the entire department look bad, would it be handled the same? I think not.

Unfortunately, in their quest to get their name in print, they aired more Wise County dirty laundry to a public that loves drama and condemnation. Truly meaningless, unless you’re looking for recognition and promotion.

As long as you’re hunting mites, time, money and other resources are lost that could be better used hunting pedophiles, rapists, murders, drug dealers and other violent offenders.

I make no excuses for the Commissioner’s alleged actions. We all make mistakes and I have no right to cast the first stone. I believe he should have been allowed the opportunity to make it right without the all the fanfare.

So, feel free to change my mind…or what’s left of it.

Denney Crane

Email of the week...

2012-02-10T06:00:00.001-06:00

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America, having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One."

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you." My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you with hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who proceeded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed.

And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed.

And "The One" said " We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth."

And the people said, "Show us the money!"

And the he said, "redistribution of wealth is good for everybody.."

And Joe the plumber asked, " Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??"

And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized. One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom.

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"

And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!

Then "The One" said "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes."

And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes."

So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed. And He said, "I shall mandate employer-funded health care for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics."

And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."

And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!"

And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates."

So "The One" said, Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out.

Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..."

And the people said, "Hallelujah!" and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The bank banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "the One"- The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!"

But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. "Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..."

And "The One" said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!"

And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?"

But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as likeunto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW

16 Painful Truthes ...but quite amusing

2012-02-04T06:00:00.002-06:00

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

13. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

14. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

15. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

h/t Gaspasser

Cheers to the Susan G Komen Foundation!

2012-02-03T11:30:00.002-06:00

No matter how much the national media cries foul, I applaud Komen for stopping the funding of Planned Parenthood. Their loss of contributions due to PP's pro-abortion posture has caused change in the way the organization dispenses its funds. Once again, money talks!

No matter my personal opinion, I defer to the Word of God on the matter. If you have a problem with that, take it up with Him!

If you have never made a personal contribution to Planned Parenthood, you should stop expecting others to support your ideologic hypocrisy and put your money where your mouth is!

Oh, and don't use the lame analysis that is will cost lives... Once again, I defer to His Word... If you're a Christian, you chose to give up your right to your own opinion in the matter when you chose to follow Him.

EDIT: Unfortunately, Komen caved! I do urge every Christian to stop funding Komen. How can God bless us and this country while we kill the unborn innocent; all the while claiming to be do gooders?

The Double Standard USA

2012-02-03T06:00:00.001-06:00

No further comment necessary...

It starts with a thought...

2012-02-02T06:00:00.001-06:00

To live at this time is an inestimable privilege, and a sacred obligation devolves upon you to make right use of your opportunities.

Grenville Kleiser

To the piss-ignorant, dumb-ass conservative Obama haters... You probably helped him get elected!

2012-01-31T06:00:00.007-06:00

If you bought one of these cars below, you helped Barack Obama get elected to the office of POTUS! Yes, you helped the Unions give over $60,000,000 to his Presidential campaign. What’s worse, if you continue to buy these vehicles, you help fund the socialist movement in America!

Buick Enclave
Buick LaCrosse
Buick Regal
Buick Verano
Cadillac CTS Coupe
Cadillac CTS Sedan
Cadillac Escalade
Chevrolet Camara
Chevrolet Colorado
Chevrolet Corvette
Chevrolet Cruze
Chevrolet Equinox
Chevrolet Express Van
Chevrolet Impala
Chevrolet Malibu
Chevrolet Silverado
Chevrolet Sonic
Chevrolet Suburban
Chevrolet Tahoe
Chevrolet Traverse
Chevrolet Volt
Chrysler 200
Chrysler 300
Chrysler Town & Country
Dodge Avenger
Dodge Caliber
Dodge Challenger
Dodge Charger
Dodge Durango
Dodge Grand Caravan
Dodge Ram 1500
Ford E-Series Vans
Ford Escape
Ford Expedition
Ford F-150
Ford Flex
Ford Focus
Ford Mustang
Ford Taurus
GMC Acadia
GMC Canyon
GMC Savana Vans
GMC Sierra
GMC Terrain
GMC Yukon
Jeep Compass
Jeep Grand Cherokee
Jeep Liberty
Jeep Patriot
Jeep Wrangler
Lincoln MKS
Lincoln MKT
Lincoln MKX
Lincoln Navigator
Mazda 6
Mitsubishi Eclipse
Mitsubishi Galant
Volkswagon Routan

No more excuses! We are better off buying from China! Either put your money where your mouth is or shut the f_ck up! I am tired of listening to your sanctimonious speech while you financially support those who would enslave us! I don't care who your daddy is...

Edit: In other words, save your condemnation and judgement for the man in the mirror, cause you're part of the problem!

Obama ineligible for POTUS on Georgia ballot?

2012-01-30T09:17:00.003-06:00

Last week, a judge in the State of Georgia, after a formal hearing, is deciding whether or not Barack Obama will be on the ballot for President of the United State in the state. The facts presented were very damning, and the President presented no defense.

The biggest problem in the matter is that the Supreme Court already declared Barack Obama ineligible to be President of the United States...in 1875!

What's most alarming to me are the following questions:

Why is the national main stream media ignoring the hearing in Georgia? Is this not newsworthy?

Would the main stream media cover the hearing it if it were Romney, Gingrich or any other conservative on trial?

Why did Congress allow anyone to run for the office of POTUS without proving eligibility?

Why is Barack Obama not defending his eligibility in the Georgia court?

Is enforcement of the US Constitution a thing of the past?

Are congressional leaders exempt from the laws of this nation?

Where is the outcry?

Does anyone really care?
~~~
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke

It starts with a thought...

2012-01-28T12:07:00.001-06:00

If I were a career politician in Washington, my greatest fear would be that a successful businessman was elected President of the United States.

Especially one who is willing to cut spending to lower overhead...

What to do when she says no...

2012-01-27T17:11:00.001-06:00

I wish I said that...

2012-01-26T10:00:00.001-06:00

The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

Bernard Meltzer

Ducks Quack Eagles Soar

2012-01-24T15:00:00.001-06:00

No one can make you serve customers well.....that's because great service is a choice. Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey.

He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.'

My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.'

Wally smiled and said, 'No problem I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice...'

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.'

Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.

He had just written a book called 'You'll See It When You Believe It'. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd..'

'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.

'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

h/t AJ

Email of the week...

2012-01-23T06:00:00.002-06:00

Here is all I want!
Obama: Gone!
Borders: Closed!
Congress: Obey it's own laws!
Language: English only!
Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!
Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!
NO freebies to: Non-Citizens!
Photo Id for all voters!

I thought these were all reasonable requests since we live in a free country, but after thinking about it, I would probably be labeled a racist if I agree with it....

Joke of the Month

2012-01-18T11:05:00.001-06:00

Sex between the wife and I had been a bit unsatisfying of late, so she told me, "Go to the pharmacy and get some of those pills that will help you get an erection".

You can imagine her reaction when I came back from the drug store and tossed her a bottle of diet pills.

...almost got me killed!!!

It starts with a thought...

2012-01-13T06:00:00.001-06:00

There are many ways to measure success; not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to a friend.

Unknown

Email of the Month & I wish I said that...

2012-01-12T10:00:00.002-06:00

Racism Reality

One of the best lines I've heard lately was from a retired shop foreman at the old Republic Steel plant in Cleveland OH ....when a young black kid was being laid off. The black kid said to the shop foreman: "You're firing me because I'm black!"

The foreman thought a moment and replied "No, we hired you because you were black... We're firing you because you are useless!"

Sounds like a possible slogan for the 2012 election

h/t McMike

Wise County running short on funds?

2012-01-02T13:37:00.001-06:00

That's the first thing that comes to mind when the Sheriff Department is working traffic on 287 today...

I wish I said that...

2012-01-01T08:41:00.002-06:00

I searched through rebellion, drugs, diets, mysticism, religions, intellectualism and much more, only to begin to find...that truth is basically simple - and feels good, clean and right.

Chick Corea

Hunting Game: Falcon Vs. Snake

2011-12-29T10:04:00.001-06:00

Hunting Game: Falcon Vs. Snake: READ STORY TO UNDERSTAND PICTURES This has to be the weirdest thing that ever floated by me in the river. They were stuck together in de...

The Donald's latest monumental achievement...

2011-12-27T06:00:00.001-06:00

2011's best media attention whore...

Edit: This is directed at Donald Trump,
not "The Donald", blogger extraordinaire!

What's wrong with the liberal "Tax the rich" mentality...

2011-12-21T06:00:00.001-06:00

Christmas? It's about Obama!

2011-12-20T09:40:00.000-06:00

U.S. Capitol Christmas Tree Pays Homage to Obama—But Not Jesus
CNSNews.com The 63-foot Sierra White Fir lighted at the U.S. Capitol Grounds on Dec. 6 as the official 2011 Capitol Christmas Tree includes a prominently displayed ornament paying homage to President Barack Obama, but includes no ornament readily visible to a person standing near the tree's base that uses the word “Christmas,” or includes an image of the Nativity, or bears the name or image of Jesus Christ.

On the north side of the tree--at a height of about 4 feet and easily visible to people standing near it---there is an ornament that says: “I ♥ President Obama.”

h/t The Conservative Podium

My message to the White House, Congress & the Occupiers!

2011-12-09T09:59:00.003-06:00

LANGUAGE WARNING!
F BOMBS

A Day in the Life of an Occupy Wall St Participant

2011-12-05T06:00:00.001-06:00

I wish I said that...

2011-12-03T06:00:00.001-06:00

He who finds diamonds must grapple in mud and mire because diamonds are not found in polished stones. They are made.

Henry B. Wilson

You don't want to know what this video says!

2011-12-02T06:00:00.001-06:00

h/t McGillicutty

News Flash!!! Denney Crane boycotts Fox News

2011-11-29T10:00:00.000-06:00

I have watched Bob Beckel for the last time. I have watched Fox News for 15 years, but after his comments last night concerning Tim Tebow's public display of his Christian faith and Chris Christie's remarks concerning the President, I’m done.

I don’t need Fox News correspondents’ opinions to help me form my own viewpoint, I just need the information; which I can get elsewhere without the drama.

As far as I’m concerned, Fox has turned into an opinionated NBC opposite, under the guise of “fair and balanced”.

I have no problem with Bob’s opinion, nor his passion. My problem is his delivery. He is one of the few people on earth whose ego, arrogance and aggressive behavior eclipses my own.

but I could be wrong...

I wish I said that...

2011-11-22T06:00:00.000-06:00

A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

Alexander Pope

That's the smart thing to do Mr. President

2011-11-21T06:00:00.003-06:00

That's what you need to do Mr. President, argue with the Chinese Premier over oil in the south China Sea while you allow a new pipeline to stall that would bring America more energy.

It starts with a thought...

2011-11-18T13:26:00.001-06:00

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.

Abraham Maslow

Top 12 Reasons To Vote Democrat

2011-11-15T06:00:00.001-06:00

When your so-called "friends" cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"...

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, free education, and Social Security benefits.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or Gopher.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE".

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my anal cavity, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

It starts with a thought...

2011-11-14T06:00:00.000-06:00

Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to "jump at the Sun." We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.

Zora Neale Hurston

Talk about a turnaround!

2011-11-12T10:00:00.001-06:00

"I've gone from being dead in June to being asked who will be in my cabinet. I think that's real progress."

Newt Gingrich

.

Quote of the month!

2011-11-11T06:00:00.003-06:00

"As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, because America gave him the White House based on the same credentials."

Newt Gingrich

h/t McMike

Remember the stimulus?

2011-11-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

Presently, there are over 100 criminal investigations involving Stimulus spending in the Energy department. The kicker is that only 1% of the Stimulus was spent on energy... I can't imagine what it will be with the other 99% of the money.

Judging by our economy, doesn't look like it worked, at all! I think there would have been more jobs created if they gave the money to crackheads; at least the money would circulate!

Hog heaven?

2011-11-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

There's a stretch of road 10 miles north of Jacksboro that hogs are all along the roadside every 2 or 3 miles.

I wish I said that...

2011-11-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

Helen Keller

Old, but most inspirational!

2011-10-30T09:40:00.001-05:00

I like this Texan!!!

2011-10-29T12:20:00.001-05:00

The greatest thing about the free enterprise system is that one has the right to refuse service to anyone one chooses...

Preponderance of perception...

2011-10-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue... gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.

Confucius

I wish I said that...

2011-10-26T16:58:00.001-05:00

The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

Apple's "Think Different" Commercial, 1997

It starts with a thought...

2011-10-19T12:20:00.002-05:00

Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott

Hard to argue with facts...

2011-10-17T06:00:00.001-05:00

Autocorrect saves time, but sometimes there are issues!

2011-10-10T06:00:00.001-05:00

I thought I was the only one...

2011-10-07T13:25:00.001-05:00

Suffering?

2011-10-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that 1 out of 5 enjoys it?

Bumper sticker of the year!

2011-10-06T10:45:00.001-05:00

You can't fix stupid, althoughnature has a way of eliminating it

2011-10-01T10:00:00.000-05:00

h/t McGillicutty

The Mean Drunk

2011-09-30T11:50:00.000-05:00

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue and they have this conversation:

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished,and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

h/t Theodore

Wise County Newsflash!

2011-09-25T09:02:00.002-05:00

The Wise County Messenger Update website has been hacked by "Tiger-M@te" a self described "Bangladeshi Hacker". Our local paper has just risen to a new level of importance on the world stage!!! See for yourself...

I wish I said that...

2011-09-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.

A.W. Pinero

I wish I said that...

2011-09-23T06:00:00.001-05:00

There is no sensual pleasure in the world comparable to the delight and satisfaction that a good man takes in doing good.

Tillotson

Hypnotically hilarious!

2011-09-22T13:30:00.002-05:00

h/t McGillicutty

Have you seen Lake Travis lately?

2011-09-22T06:00:00.001-05:00

You might want to check this out!

It starts with a thought...

2011-09-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

The life that conquers is the life that moves with a steady resolution and persistence toward a predetermined goal. Those who succeed are those who have thoroughly learned the immense importance of plan in life, and the tragic brevity of time.

W.J. Davison

Foreign political cartoons

2011-09-15T13:00:00.001-05:00

h/t McGillicutty

Wish I said that...

2011-09-15T06:00:00.001-05:00

Man is so made that whenever anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish.

Jean de la Fontaine

It starts with a thought...

2011-09-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Let everyone sweep in front of his own door and the whole world will be clean.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Wish I said that...

2011-09-09T14:45:00.000-05:00

The people with whom you work reflect your own attitude. If you are suspicious, unfriendly and condescending, you will find these unlovely traits echoed all about you. But if you are on your best behavior, you will bring out the best in the persons with whom you are going to spend most of your waking hours.

Beatrice Vincent

The President can save 600,000 jobs!

2011-09-08T13:00:00.001-05:00

The President has the privalidge of saving over 600,000 jobs this month by finding a way to pay for the U.S. Postal Service. Just another example of government inefficiency. And to think, many Americans believe our government can solve the job crisis...

It starts with a thought...

2011-09-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality.

John Quincy Adams

Obama’s Justice Department visual acceleration to global governance

2011-09-07T13:30:00.004-05:00

Issues like the establishment of a New World Order and the subjugation of American sovereignty to global governance, once considered “conspiracy theories” just a few short years ago, will begin to emerge as the Socialists unabashedly unveil their agenda for all to see. It can also be used as a litmus test of sorts to identify the pseudo-conservatives who insist that this is “much ado about nothing” or a distraction, like the Obama eligibility issue, from the ever elusive “real issues” of the day.

Canadian Free Press

Little by little, the subtle changes come until one day we will wake up and be the United Socialist States of America. 2012 is just around the corner so get and stay engaged as if our nation depended on it because it does!!!!!

Well, how interesting! It seems the U.S. Department of Justice has changed its web site. Gone are the colorful red, white, and blue U.S. Flag decorations on the page.

Replaced by stark black and white.

And at the top of the page, is a rather interesting quote: "The common law is the will of mankind, issuing from the life of the people."

Catchy, huh? Just one tiny little (too small to be relevant obviously) point --the quote is from C. Wilfred Jenks, who in the 1930's was a leading proponent of the "international law" movement, which had as its goal to impose a global common law and which backed 'global workers' rights.'

Call it Marxism, call it Progressivism, call it Socialism -- under any of those names, it definitely makes the DOJ look corrupt in their new website with Marxist accessories to match.

See for yourself: U.S. Justice Department

How very interesting that 'they' couldn't find a nice quote from one of our founding fathers. This is an example of the slow, methodical misuse of power our current government is doing as they lead us to socialism, and destroy our republic as we have known it.

h/t AJ

The United States of Europe?

2011-09-07T06:00:00.001-05:00

I find it quite ironic that our current government wants to pattern the U.S. after European doctrines, and now Europe is wanting to pattern itself after the U.S. Articles of Confederation.

If anything should tell us to go back and find our roots, this should be it!

DC

Quote of the week

2011-09-06T06:00:00.003-05:00

"Republicans have to nominate someone better than the person they want to defeat. If they get so adamant that they will only support a candidate that believes everything on their checklist, they will re-elect Obama."

Mike Huckabee, former Arkansas governor

Today's messed up headline...

2011-09-05T13:00:00.002-05:00

Man chokes to death on plane

The distraught girlfriend of a New Zealand man sat next to his dead body for hours after he choked and died while eating an in-flight meal.

Robert Rippingale, 31, was flying from Singapore, where he worked, to his native New Zealand last week to celebrate his parents' 50th birthdays, the New Zealand Herald reported.

An hour-and-a-half into the Jetstar Airline flight, Rippingale choked on the beef and chicken dinner, the paper reported.

"One minute we were sitting next to each other kissing, holding hands and the next minute he was choking," said his girlfriend, Vanessa Preechakul,to the Herald.

New York Daily News

A child's understanding can be priceless

2011-09-05T08:30:00.002-05:00

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables.
____________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
____________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
____________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
____________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

5 important life lessons...

2011-09-02T15:30:00.000-05:00

Money cannot buy happiness, but it is more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name.

Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again.

Many people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

h/t the Gaspasser

Enjoy your weekend, you only get so many...

Priceless political video of the month!

2011-09-02T06:00:00.003-05:00

h/t the Gaspasser

POTUS can't spend enough taxpayer money to stop failure!

2011-09-01T13:00:00.005-05:00

By Joe Stephens and Carol D. Leonnig
Published: August 31

A company that served as a showcase for the Obama administration’s effort to create jobs in clean technology shut down Wednesday, leaving 1,100 people out of work and taxpayers obligated for $535 million in federal loans.

Washington Post

What's half a billion here and there between friends? BTW, the DNC didn't get your check this month...

Quote of the week...

2011-09-01T07:29:00.004-05:00

"You don't expect someone who just spent four years in Ivy League schools to be on food stamps."

STEPHANIE MORALES, a 2009 graduate of Dartmouth College who is now waiting tables in Weehawken, N.J., for $2.17 an hour plus tips.

New York Times

How did they get there?

2011-08-26T09:00:00.001-05:00

h/t AJ

So tell me again how civilized we've become...

2011-08-22T10:50:00.000-05:00

Your placenta, it 'Tastes Like Jerky'
Eating your own afterbirth.
New York Magazine

Enjoy your weekend!

2011-08-19T16:30:00.000-05:00

h/t McGillicutty

Email of the week...

2011-08-19T10:30:00.002-05:00

Australian Shooter Magazine

An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week, which I quote:
"If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the US, than you are in Iraq ."

Conclusion: "The US should pull out of Washington ."

h/t McMike

More proof American taxpayers fund terrorism! $360,000,000!

2011-08-18T10:30:00.001-05:00

If this isn't proof we have complete incompetents running our government, you need to keep drinking your koolaide...unless it's being done on purpose! This should also prove our troops don't belong over there, since we are funding the enemy.

This is also proof positive that government spending will never fix this economy. Hell, this should show Americans that no amount of government spending will fix anything!!! But let's just let them continue to transfer American wealth to the Middle East, China and Europe. This is the change we were promised...

$360M lost to insurgents, criminals in Afghanistan

DEB RIECHMANN, Associated Press
RICHARD LARDNER, Associated Press

WASHINGTON (AP) — The U.S. military estimates that $360 million spent on combat support and reconstruction contracts in Afghanistan has ended up in the hands of people the American-led coalition has battled for nearly a decade: the Taliban, criminals and local power brokers with ties to both, The Associated Press has learned.

The losses, measured over the past year by a special task force assembled by Gen. David Petraeus, underscore the challenges the U.S. and its international partners face in overcoming corruption in Afghanistan. A central part of the Obama administration's strategy has been to award U.S.-financed contracts to Afghan businesses to help improve quality of life and stoke the country's economy.

Feel free to read for yourself!

Why feeding starving children in Somalia is a waste of money

2011-08-15T18:10:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, the Diety titled a post "Who Ya Got?: U.S. Going Broke vs. Feeding Starving Children " and I made the following comment:

"I bet less than 10% of the $100 million will get to where it's supposed to go. Corrupt politicians will take the lions share. Rebels will commandeer the food and nothing will change, other than having well fed terrorists in Somalia..."

Low and behold, some very brave reporters got off their asses in Somalia and found out where the money and food are going... you guessed it, not to the starving children, that's for damn sure! You idiots keep quoting scripture as a good reason to send aid to Somalia...

What really pisses me off about this is that if a dumba$$ like me knows what's going to happen, why in the hell don't the idiots running the UN and the politicians spending our tax dollars know??? Time to fire up a flame thrower!!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

AP: Somalia famine aid stolen, UN investigating

By KATHARINE HOURELD

MOGADISHU, Somalia (AP) — Sacks of grain, peanut butter snacks and other food staples meant for starving Somalis are being stolen and sold in markets, an Associated Press investigation has found, raising concerns that thieving businessmen are undermining international famine relief efforts in this nearly lawless country.

The U.N.'s World Food Program acknowledged for the first time that it has been investigating food theft in Somalia for two months. The WFP strongly condemned any diversion of "even the smallest amount of food from starving and vulnerable Somalis."

Underscoring the perilous security throughout the food distribution chain, donated food is not even safe once it has been given to the hungry in the makeshift camps popping up around the capital of Mogadishu. Families at the large, government-run Badbado camp, where several aid groups distribute food, said they were often forced to hand back aid after journalists had taken photos of them with it.

Feel free to read the entire article here.

No matter what you think of him personally...

2011-08-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

McGillicutty's got some
good stuff this week...

Don't you just hate a showoff

2011-08-09T12:35:00.000-05:00

h/t McGillicutty

Best ride on the planetif you live through it!

2011-08-05T11:30:00.001-05:00

h/t McGillicutty

The nerve of these politicians wanting to cut spending!!!

2011-08-02T13:20:00.004-05:00

These are all the programs that the new Republican House has proposed cutting.
Corporation for Public Broadcasting Subsidy. $445 million annual savings.

Save America 's Treasures Program. $25 million annual savings.

International Fund for Ireland . $17 million annual savings.

Legal Services Corporation. $420 million annual savings.

National Endowment for the Arts. $167.5 million annual savings.

National Endowment for the Humanities. $167.5 million annual savings.

Hope VI Program. $250 million annual savings.

Amtrak Subsidies. $1.565 billion annual savings.

Eliminate duplicative education programs. H.R. 2274 (in last Congress), authored by Rep. McKeon, eliminates 68 at a savings of $1.3 billion annually.

U.S. Trade Development Agency. $55 million annual savings.

Woodrow Wilson Center Subsidy. $20 million annual savings.

Cut in half funding for congressional printing and binding. $47 million annual savings.

John C. Stennis Center Subsidy. $430,000 annual savings.

Community Development Fund. $4.5 billion annual savings.

Heritage Area Grants and Statutory Aid. $24 million annual savings.

Cut Federal Travel Budget in Half. $7.5 billion annual savings

Trim Federal Vehicle Budget by 20%. $600 million annual savings.

Essential Air Service. $150 million annual savings.

Technology Innovation Program. $70 million annual savings.

Manufacturing Extension Partnership (MEP) Program. $125 million annual savings.

Department of Energy Grants to States for Weatherization. $530 million annual savings.

Beach Replenishment. $95 million annual savings.

New Starts Transit. $2 billion annual savings.

Exchange Programs for Alaska , Natives Native Hawaiians, and Their Historical Trading Partners in Massachusetts . $9 million annual savings

Intercity and High Speed Rail Grants. $2.5 billion annual savings.

Title X Family Planning. $318 million annual savings.

Appalachian Regional Commission. $76 million annual savings.

Economic Development Administration. $293 million annual savings.

Programs under the National and Community Services Act. $1.15 billion annual savings.

Applied Research at Department of Energy. $1.27 billion annual savings.

FreedomCAR and Fuel Partnership. $200 million annual savings.

Energy Star Program. $52 million annual savings.

Economic Assistance to Egypt . $250 million annually.

U.S. Agency for International Development. $1.39 billion annual savings.

General Assistance to District of Columbia . $210 million annual savings.

Subsidy for Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority. $150 million annual savings.

Presidential Campaign Fund. $775 million savings over ten years.

No funding for federal office space acquisition. $864 million annual savings.

End prohibitions on competitive sourcing of government services.

Repeal the Davis-Bacon Act. More than $1 billion annually.

IRS Direct Deposit: Require the IRS to deposit fees for some services it offers (such as processing payment plans for taxpayers) to the Treasury, instead of allowing it to remain as part of its budget. $1.8 billion savings over ten years.

Require collection of unpaid taxes by federal employees. $1 billion total savings.

Prohibit taxpayer funded union activities by federal employees. $1.2 billion savings over ten years.

Sell excess federal properties the government does not make use of. $15 billion total savings.

Eliminate death gratuity for Members of Congress.

Eliminate Mohair Subsidies. $1 million annual savings.

Eliminate taxpayer subsidies to the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. $12.5 million annual savings

Eliminate Market Access Program. $200 million annual savings.

USDA Sugar Program. $14 million annual savings.

Subsidy to Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). $93 million annual savings.

Eliminate the National Organic Certification Cost-Share Program. $56.2 million annual savings.

Eliminate fund for Obamacare administrative costs. $900 million savings.

Ready to Learn TV Program. $27 million savings..

HUD Ph.D. Program.

Deficit Reduction Check-Off Act.

TOTAL SAVINGS: $2.5 Trillion over Ten Years

Republican Study Group Issues Proposed Budget Cuts

Did you notice that Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid were not included in this list?

Email of the week!

2011-08-01T16:00:00.002-05:00

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Jack? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Jack, that your parrot, he is dead."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Jack."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Jack."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Jack, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Jack."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Jack."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Jack. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock Shotgun."

Silence...

Long silence...

Very long silence...

"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."

h/t McMike

Some of you know how nice that gun happens to be... I happen to have a Wenig stock on my shotgun, not exhibition grade, and it's sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet! DC

I wish I said that...

2011-08-01T13:00:00.004-05:00

I will make love my greatest weapon and none on who I call can defend against its force...

My love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest day.

Og Mandino

Kettle calling the pot black ...again!

2011-07-26T13:00:00.005-05:00

Does anyone other than myself find it absolutely insane that our President is warning of an economic crisis if the debt ceiling isn't raised??? Sorry buddy, but you haven't helped the current economic crisis, why should anyone listen to your unknown, unproven plans today?

This is the same President whose leaders found opportunity in crisis... Who promised the American people he would not raise taxes... Who tripled the U.S. debt in 3 years... Who is redistributing our wealth to other countries... Who is making Americans dependent on a government check through unemployment and entitlements...

Now that Congress isn't letting him showboat and play with the budget, he's not happy. Take away his credit cards and watch him cry...very loudly!

We were in crisis when Reagan took office and he turned the economy around for over a decade, as well as bankrupt the Soviet Union. Bush had a huge stock market crash after 9/11 and he used Reagan's model and brought it back within 2 years. Obama and dems think they can spend this economy back from the brink, but it has never worked in any culture throughout the history of the world...

Free enterprise works if the government would leave it alone. Tax business and they can't use that money to pay their workers. Businesses don't pay taxes, people pay taxes; business just passes the expense to the consumer.

...but I could be wrong!

Universal Laws

2011-07-26T10:10:00.000-05:00

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance.. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

h/t AJ

Vets don't have much of a sense of humor...

2011-07-14T13:30:00.001-05:00

Wish I said that...

2011-07-11T15:00:00.001-05:00

If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice how he acts when he loses money.

New England Proverb

You make the call...

2011-07-11T11:00:00.001-05:00

The president said today that he will not sign a 30 day, 60 day or 90 day extension on raising the debt ceiling.

I will bet half the farm he will before he allows the government to default. He wants his check!

If he wasn't the president, I would say this was a lie.

It starts with a thought...

2011-07-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.

Arab proverb

It starts with a thought...

2011-07-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

From long familiarity, we know what honor is. It is what enables the individual to do right in the face of complacency and cowardice. It is what enables the soldier to die alone, the political prisoner to resist, the singer to sing her song, hardly appreciated, on a side street.

Mark Helprin

Latest American made weaponry!

2011-07-02T08:00:00.001-05:00

Ruger is coming out with a new and intimidating pistol in honor of United States Senators and Congressmen.

It will be named the "Politician".

It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

h/t McMike

Email of the month...

2011-06-30T13:30:00.001-05:00

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out..

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3. He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

h/t AJ

Wish I said that...

2011-06-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Some people say I have attitude - maybe I do. But I think you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does - that makes you a winner right there.

Venus Williams